Eating Disorder...What Can I Do To Help?

I suspect someone I know may have an eating disorder…what can I do to help them?

If you are concerned that a friend or family member may be suffering from an eating disorder, first you may want to educate yourself a little on the nature of eating disorders. This will give you a better understanding of what the person you are concerned about may be going through. Check out our related Teen Health Centre website articles on eating disorder information:
Facts About Eating Disorders
So What Is Healthy?
What Really Happens When We Diet
as well as the National Eating Disorder Information Centre.

Often we are led to believe that eating disorders are only about food, weight and wanting to be thin. In reality eating disorders are coping strategies that individuals use to deal with deeper problems. Family and friends are often troubled when they recognize that someone they care about may be suffering from an eating disorder. It is difficult to know what to say or do to help that person. When you first approach someone, it is important to understand that they might not appreciate your concern and even react with anger and denial. Listed below are some suggestions to keep in mind when approaching someone you suspect may have an eating disorder:

• Avoid talking about food and weight, those aren’t the real issues.

• Let them know that they are not alone and that you care for and want to help them in any way you can.

• Encourage them to seek help.

• Never try and force them to eat.

• Don’t comment of their weight or appearance, your comments may be taken the wrong way.

• Be patient, recovery from an eating disorder can take a long time.

• Don’t make mealtimes a battleground.

• Listen to the person, don’t be quick to give opinions and advice.

• Don’t take on the role of a therapist.

Someone who is suffering from an eating disorder has the best chance for recovery when they are surrounded by people who are loving and supportive. Recovery takes a long time and a lot of hard work, however, with proper treatment (which should include individual, group and family therapy, support groups, medical and nutritional counselling) eating disorders can be overcome.

If you are a family member or close friend of an individual who is experiencing an eating disorder you should also consider getting support for yourself. Dealing with someone that has an eating disorder can be frustrating, confusing and emotionally draining. Support groups offer an excellent space for discussion, advice, information, and above all, let you know that you are not alone in your efforts to support someone with an eating disorder. By attending a support group you are also saying to the person who has an eating disorder, it’s o.k. to get help and I care about you, two very important messages.

How can we encourage positive attitudes about healthy eating and body image in ourselves and others?

Be media critical.
-Talk about fashion magazines and really look at some of the underlying messages and trends. This is a great activity to do with your family, classmates or friends.
-Talk about the problems that even models have in trying to live up to media’s definition of ‘beauty=thin.’ How healthy are their lives?
-Talk about how even models aren’t as perfect as they appear in magazines (couresty of airbrushing and computer ‘touch-ups’).
-Encourage the ability in yourself and others to ‘think critically’ when viewing media (t.v., advertisements, magazines, movies, etc.)

Celebrate differences, individuality and natural sizes.
-Have discussions that celebrate and embrace our differences, from culture to body shape to family traditions. When we have a positive self identity we are not as susceptible to society’s message that you must look one way in order to be accepted and successful in life. Variety, after all, is the spice of life!

Identify and express your feelings.
-Encourage the expression of feelings and healthy problem solving and coping mechanisms. When we can express ourselves in a healthy way, we are less likely to use food (or alcohol, violent behaviour, drugs, sexual acting out or suicide) in dealing with life’s problems.

Check your own attitudes about dieting, thinness, body shape and size.
-Be a role model for others. Avoid commenting on appearance and size and focus on internal qualities such as creativity, skills, hobbies, character strengths, achievements, etc.
-Avoid talking about food as ‘the enemy.’ Eating food is about maintaining a strong and healthy body and mind. Eating food can be an enjoyable and social experience. Just picture your favourite holiday gathering without the food that bonds people together in sharing; food is a wonderful thing!

Source: National Eating Disorder Information Centre.