FAQ'S - GRIEF AND THE SEARCH FOR ANSWERS

1. I want to talk about my feelings all the time, but I don’t think others will understand.

2. Sometimes I get angry with my friends because I think they do not understand how I feel, or how important this loss is to me. They just seem to be getting on with their lives as if nothing has happened.

3. I feel as if I am going to be sad forever, and that I will never be happy again. How long will I feel this way?

FAQ: I want to talk about my feelings all the time, but I don’t think others will understand.

A: This is not uncommon to want to talk about someone you miss. When we are separated from someone we love, it seems as though we want to talk about that person to those we trust and in whom we can confide. Telling special stories about that person, –sharing memories with those who understand, remembering events in you life together, recalling the circumstances surrounding his or her death, speaking to family members about your grief – these are all a part of our grief journey. Unfortunately, not everyone will want to deal with their feelings in the same way. Try talking to people but if you find that is not helpful, you may want to keep a special journal to write down your thoughts and feelings about this person, or write a letter to your special friend that expresses your sadness and sorrow.

FAQ: Sometimes I get angry with my friends because I think they do not understand how I feel, or how important this loss is to me. They just seem to be getting on with their lives as if nothing has happened.

A: It can be especially hard for adolescents and young adults if they sense that others around them have not experienced or do not understand their feelings. Sometimes it is hard for other teens to know how to help someone who is grieving, especially if they have not experienced what you are going through.
It is especially hard if you are feeling the pressures of peer relationships, schoolwork, a part-time job, or family problems. Often the help of a caring adult will give you the hope and understanding you need. Sometimes talking with a trusted teacher, relative, or your priest, minister or rabbi can be supportive and helpful.

FAQ: I feel as if I am going to be sad forever, and that I will never be happy again. How long will I feel this way?

A: There is no “timetable” or schedule for knowing how long you will feel this way. Most people however, notice that within a year of their loss, and with the help of supportive friends or professionals, they are often starting to feel stronger and more hopeful about life. Please know that significant dates will have special meaning for you, and you may need the extra support of caring friends during these times. The anniversary of the death, your first Christmas or Thanksgiving without him, or the date of her birthday can bring out a wide range of emotions and memories. You may find it helpful to recognize these times with others, marking in a special way your special relationship and memories.

For help with grief contact
the Teen Health Centre at (519)253-8481
 and ask to speak to a counsellor.