Teen Development
Do your teens do anything that seems designed to drive you crazy? A lot of problematic teen behaviour is rooted in struggles that all teens go through as part of the normal developmental process. Often this behaviour is not a personal attack against parents (although it can seem like it is!).
Which of these characteristics is at the root of particular problems your teen is experiencing?
Developmental Characteristics Possible Behaviour that Results
Pre-Teens
Reproductive maturity reached: for girls, The beginning of sexual experimentation
ages 8 1/2 to 13; for boys ages 9 1/2 to 15
Growing sense of independence and Starting to stray from family
self-sufficiency
Develop same-sex friendships and learn May become very close to a best friend to
new social skills the exclusion of family
Develop more concrete logic skills May use jokes that seem cruel to vent
aggression
Young Teens (approx. 12 - 14 yrs.)
Rapid cycling through moods Unpredictable and challenging behaviour
Identity exploration begins Experimentation with personality, peers
and appearance
Beginning concern with others' thoughts General defensiveness due to strong
about them feelings of self-consciousness
Developing capacity for critical analysis Constant analysis and critique of family
members
May believe they are invincible Will reject warnings about health and
safety issues from adults
Older Teens (approx. 15 – 18 yrs.)
Complete physical development Struggle to integrate natural sexual and
emotional needs with society’s messages
and their own values
Struggle to react appropriately to being
treated as an adult
Develop the ability to think abstractly May use irony and other sophisticated
forms of humour to critique society
Capable of identifying with other peoples’ Become more concerned about the
conditions feelings of others
Able to imagine the world as it should May become interested in making a be and compare it to the way it is now difference in the world
Please circle the response that best describes how you feeling about your parents parenting skills.
1. Listening skills.
Poor Satisfactory excellent
1 2 3 4 5
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2. Consistency, keeps their word, follows through on things.
1 2 3 4 5
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3. How understanding are your parents?
1 2 3 4 5
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4. Gives encouragement, helps to build self esteem.
1 2 3 4 5
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5. Creates opportunities for taking responsibility and making choices.
1 2 3 4 5
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6. Overall job performance
1 2 3 4 5
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Additional comments:
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Parent Styles
How we provide discipline is through our ‘style of parenting’.
There are three types of parents:
Types: Autocratic, Permissive, Authoritative (Active)
Autocratic – Characterized by the parent trying to over control the teen.
Such parents hold the reins very tightly using a combination of reward and punishment to keep the teen within the limits that the parent sets.
This style can be represented by a closed circle representing
‘limits without freedom’.
Permissive – Characterized by the parent trying to over please the
teen. Such parents permit their teen too much freedom.
They are unwilling to say ‘no’ and often pamper their teens.
This style can be represented by a squiggly line representing ‘freedom without limits’.
Authoritative / Active – Characterized by both freedom and limits. Such parents recognize the teens need to make more and more of their own decisions within limits that are appropriate for their age and level of responsibility.
It is represented by a squiggly line within a circle representing ‘freedom within limits’.
People fall on a continuum, not often one end or other.
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