Love and Relationships

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

It’s February, the month of love, and that means that love is in the air. But how do you know if it’s love? It could be love, or it could be lust or it could be that he or she just makes you horny. How do you know when you’ve fallen in love? All of us are different, and therefore each of us has different ideas about what love is. Only you can decide for yourself what love means to you.

LOVE VS INFATUATION

There are some universal differences between love and infatuation and it’s a good thing to know them.

Infatuation gives you the feeling of sweaty palms, dry mouth, slow motion and speechless tongues. It can be very exciting and intense, but also scary and confusing. Infatuation doesn’t always lead to love and therefore it doesn’t last. The excitement dies down, and in the end, there’s not much holding the two of you together.

True love, on the other hand, can last. Lots of couples start out with infatuation, but then develop much deeper feelings for each other. To love someone is to know who he or she really is, their good and their not-so-good qualities. Couples in love respect each other, share values, choices and feelings. That is the glue of a good loving relationship. Love also means knowing that your partner is emotionally there, even when he or she can’t be there physically beside you.

Learning to love is an essential part of becoming an adult. A positive, loving relationship allows you to continue being your own independent person, while still being a couple. Then, one day, when someone breaks your heart, you’ll still have your own life to lead, your own interests to pursue and you own friends to hang out with.

When you feel you love someone, you may or may not choose to initiate a sexual relationship with the one you love. There are many ways to express your affections for someone, and sex is just one of those ways. If you choose not to have sex it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. It only means that you have found other ways to spend quality time together.

WHY SOME TEENS ARE CHOOSING TO WAIT

Lots of teens are waiting longer to have sex. They are thinking more carefully about what it means to lose their virginity and begin a sexual relationship. For them, there are many reasons why they are choosing abstinence.

Some teens don’t want to worry about unplanned pregnancy and all its consequences. Others see abstinence as a way to protect themselves completely from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Some STDs, like AIDS, can literally make sex a life-or-death situation, and many teens take this very seriously.

Some teens don’t have sex because their religion prohibits it or because they simply have a very strong belief system of their own. Other teens may recognize that they aren’t ready emotionally and they want to wait until they’re absolutely sure they can handle it.

When it comes to sex, the most important things to remember are:

• You are ultimately the person in charge of your own body and your happiness, so never allow someone else to make the choice for you.

• You have a lot of time to wait until you’re totally sure that you want to enter into a sexual relationship.

If you choose abstinence, it’s OK - no matter what anyone says to you. Never get pressured into having sex. Sex should be an expression of love – not something a person feels that he or she must do. If a boyfriend or girlfriend truly loves you, he or she won’t push or pressure you to do something you don’t believe in or aren’t ready for yet.

If you do decide that that you are ready and you want to start having sex, remember this: just because you choose to start having sex does not mean that you have to continue having sex. You may be ready to give it a go once, and decide that it’s not for you right now. There is nothing wrong with that. Stick to whatever you’re most comfortable with.