Teens and Dating Violence
It's Happening More Often Than You Think!
Violence and abuse in teen dating relationships is much more common than most people would like to admit. The startling facts are that 1 in 10 high school students will experience physical violence from a partner and many more will suffer psychological abuse.
Some Startling Facts About Dating Violence
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Of women between 15-19 murdered each year in the U.S., 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend.
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26% of all female murder victims in 1995 were killed by their partners.
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40% of teenage girls age 14-17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
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In 1998 in the U.S. approximately 1,800 murders were attributed to intimates; nearly 75% of these had a female victim.
Dating violence can include physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Many teens have trouble admitting that they are in fact involved in an abusive relationship. Oftentimes the victim is made by the victimizer to feel as if the abuse is their fault, that they did something to provoke it, that they deserved it. This just isn’t true! Nobody deserves to be abused in any way.
Physical dating violence can include:
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hitting
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kicking
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punching
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choking
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slapping
Emotional abuse comes in many forms that at first may seem subtle. However, over time even subtle comments can have a big impact on a person’s self-esteem. Emotional abuse is perhaps one of the most common and unfortunately one of the most under reported or recognized forms of abuse. Victims may feel that because the victimizer has not physically harmed them that it is not in fact an abusive relationship. This is a misconception; emotional abuse is a very real problem for teens and adults alike. Emotional abuse includes the following:
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name-calling
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public humiliation
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threats of physical violence
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isolation from friends and family
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extreme jealousy and possessiveness on the abuser’s part.
Emotional abuse is especially harmful because after a period of time being told they are worthless and stupid, the victim begins to believe it. There is a loss of self-esteem and they may even begin to believe they deserve the abuse. This often makes it more difficult for the victim to leave the relationship because she/he feels that they are not good enough for and do not deserve anyone better.
Sexual abuse occurs in a dating relationship when one partner forces the other into sexual acts without consent. Many people believe the myth that it’s not rape if you’re in a relationship with the person. This is just not true. Any non-consensual, forced sexual contact from a partner is assault.
Are You in an Abusive Relationship??
After reading this information on dating violence do you think you or someone you know might be involved in an abusive relationship? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
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Does your partner consistently ridicule or insult you?
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Does your partner make you account for your time away from him/her?
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Does your partner become extremely jealous if you talk to other people or go out with friends without him/her?
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Does your partner threaten to hurt you or him/herself if you break up with them?
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Does your partner kick, slap, punch, hit or shove you?
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Does your partner force you to touch or have sex with him/her?
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Does your partner blame you for provoking his/her violent behaviour?
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Does your partner come from a home in which he/she is abused?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you or someone you know may be in an abusive relationship. It is important to recognize that abuse will not go away on its own and that you don’t deserve to abused in any way. If you are in an abusive relationship get out and get help. Both you and your abuser need to talk to a counselor.
Where Can I Get Help?
You can call the Teen Health Centre at 253-8481 for an appointment with a counselor who can help you deal with the emotional effects of an abusive relationship.
Go to www.sxetc.org for stories of people who have been in abusive relationships and overcame them.
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