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From TeenHealthCentre.com + Just For Parents
Teen Development Do your teens do anything that seems designed to drive you crazy? A lot of problematic teen behaviour is rooted in struggles that all teens go through as part of the normal developmental process. Often this behaviour is not a personal attack against parents (although it can seem like it is!). Which of these characteristics is at the root of particular problems your teen is experiencing? Developmental Characteristics Possible Behaviour that Results Pre-Teens Reproductive maturity reached: for girls, The beginning of sexual experimentation ages 8 1/2 to 13; for boys ages 9 1/2 to 15 Growing sense of independence and Starting to stray from family self-sufficiency Develop same-sex friendships and learn May become very close to a best friend to new social skills the exclusion of family Develop more concrete logic skills May use jokes that seem cruel to vent aggression Young Teens (approx. 12 - 14 yrs.) Rapid cycling through moods Unpredictable and challenging behaviour Identity exploration begins Experimentation with personality, peers and appearance Beginning concern with others' thoughts General defensiveness due to strong about them feelings of self-consciousness Developing capacity for critical analysis Constant analysis and critique of family members May believe they are invincible Will reject warnings about health and safety issues from adults Older Teens (approx. 15 – 18 yrs.) Complete physical development Struggle to integrate natural sexual and emotional needs with society’s messages and their own values Struggle to react appropriately to being treated as an adult Develop the ability to think abstractly May use irony and other sophisticated forms of humour to critique society Capable of identifying with other peoples’ Become more concerned about the conditions feelings of others Able to imagine the world as it should May become interested in making a be and compare it to the way it is now difference in the world Job Evaluation Please circle the response that best describes how you feeling about your parents parenting skills. 1. Listening skills. Poor Satisfactory excellent 1 2 3 4 5 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2. Consistency, keeps their word, follows through on things. 1 2 3 4 5 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3. How understanding are your parents? 1 2 3 4 5 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 4. Gives encouragement, helps to build self esteem. 1 2 3 4 5 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 5. Creates opportunities for taking responsibility and making choices. 1 2 3 4 5 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 6. Overall job performance 1 2 3 4 5 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Additional comments: ___________________________________________________________________________________________ How we provide discipline is through our ‘style of parenting’. There are three types of parents: Types: Autocratic, Permissive, Authoritative (Active) This style can be represented by a closed circle representing ‘limits without freedom’. Permissive – Characterized by the parent trying to over please the teen. Such parents permit their teen too much freedom. They are unwilling to say ‘no’ and often pamper their teens. This style can be represented by a squiggly line representing ‘freedom without limits’. Authoritative / Active – Characterized by both freedom and limits. Such parents recognize the teens need to make more and more of their own decisions within limits that are appropriate for their age and level of responsibility. It is represented by a squiggly line within a circle representing ‘freedom within limits’. People fall on a continuum, not often one end or other. |