Peer Relationships

From TeenHealthCentre.com

Relationships
Peer Relationships
By Teen Health Centre
Oct 29, 2004, 14:59

Peer Relationships

Developing friendships is a healthy part of growing up. Relationships help you to know yourself better, to understand people, and enjoy the company of others. At this point in your life, your friends probably matter as much to you as your family. You care about what your friends say and do, what they think about you, and what they like and dislike. Their feelings and ideas are important to you.

What is a Friend? Good friendships take time to develop, and you have to put forth some effort to make and keep friends. Friends should generally share a variety of interests and make your life more fun. Take a Friendship Quiz to see how good your relationship is.

Listed below are some qualities that can be found between good friends:

Equality - Both people contribute and consider one another equals.
Shared Responsibility - Both people feel responsible for the friendship, and both invest their time and energy to make it work.
Trust - Good friendships are based on mutual honesty and trust.
Loyalty - When you make mistakes, your good friends will forgive you and still like you. Real friends don’t listen to gossip about you because they know and trust you.
Caring - Real friends are interested in the details of your life (e.g. Your birthday, or concerns or struggles that you are having.). They pay attention to your life and let you know that they care.

“My friend is dealing with a lot of problems in her life right now. How can I help?”

When a friend is suffering and asking for help, all you can do is show you care and lend some support. You are not responsible for solving that person’s problems. Your friend will have to find her own solution. There are many ways to support a friend who is asking for your help:

Take the person and the problem seriously.
Be a good listener.
Don’t give advice.
Share your own experiences.
Encourage your friend to talk to others, perhaps an adult or a professional.
Let your friend know you care.

***If your friend feels too overwhelmed by her problems, and threatens or even talks about suicide, take that friend seriously. DO NOT KEEP TALK OF SUICIDE A SECRET — GET HELP. Tell an adult (parent, teacher, counsellor, etc.) immediately. We have more information on suicide, if you need it.